


First Time

by camichats



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Established Relationship, M/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 04:15:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15307281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: James and Sirius have sex for the first time. And it was great! Sort of. Okay, not really.





	First Time

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to write this fic literally 2 years ago.

Sirius woke up alone. It wasn't strange, necessarily. James woke up before him most days, and if they weren't at Potter Mansion, he didn't bother staying in until Sirius woke. So waking up alone wasn't the problem; the problem was that they'd had sex for the first time last night, and James wasn't there when he woke up. It made sense with how their sleeping schedule usually worked, but Sirius couldn't help but feel a little used. Which was ridiculous, because this was James he was thinking about; James would never do that to him.   
  
He rolled over and grimaced. The shoot of pain in his arse that tingled up his spine wasn't exactly a new ritual he wanted to get into. He knew it would ache, but this was a bit more than an _ache_. He also knew that James would never use him and leave, but a little assurance when he woke up wouldn't have gone amiss. He opened the curtain around his bed and gingerly sat up, swinging his legs over the side. It was more unpleasant than laying on his back, but there was nothing he could do about that, unfortunately.   
  
Remus looked to be half asleep as he got ready for the day, and Peter waved him goodbye as he left the dormitory.   
  
"Hey Moony? Do you know where James is?"   
  
"Erm..." He blinked slowly and rubbed at his eyes. "The loo?"   
  
"You sure about that?" Sirius asked, unable to let it pass without teasing him.   
  
Remus glared at him. "Find him yourself, then."   
  
"What are you on about Moons?" James asked as he came back into the room-- yes, from the loo like Remus had said.   
  
"Your boyfriend's being a git."   
  
James pat him on the shoulder and made his way to his bed without so much as glancing at said boyfriend. "That's just his personality, don't take it personally."   
  
"Whatever." Remus shoved his feet into his shoes and trudged down the stairs.   
  
Now that they were alone, Sirius waited for James to say something, but he was strangely silent. Sirius was the one to speak first, and he hated that because it felt like it should have been James's job to do that. "Are you not talking to me now?"   
  
James's shoulders slumped and turned to face Sirius reluctantly. Great, just great.   
  
Sirius laughed bitterly. "If I had known shagging would make you stop talking to me, I never would have suggested it."   
  
"Why did you suggest it?"   
  
"I dunno," he lied. James gave him a flat look, and he shrugged. "We've been together a while, and we care about each other. It seemed like the next step."   
  
"Right. Cause you always do things by the steps laid out for you."   
  
"If you're going to be an arsehole, then there's nothing to talk about."   
  
"So, what? We shagged and now we're breaking up?"   
  
"Are you dumping me?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Then no. This constitutes a fight, and we've had those plenty of times before."   
  
"We've fought exactly twice," James corrected, "and both times it was because you did something completely stupid and dangerous."   
  
"Us sleeping together was stupid and dangerous and all my fault? What the fuck, James?"   
  
"No! That's- shit that's not what I meant."   
  
"Then what did you mean?"   
  
"I don't know. We did this huge thing and now it's like we don't know how to talk to each other! I wanted to have sex with you, but not at the cost of us."   
  
Sirius reared back. "What are you saying? You didn't like it?"   
  
"It was... Merlin. Of course I liked it, but you have to admit that it was awkward as all hell."   
  
"Yeah, okay, it was kind of awkward," Sirius admitted. "What about it?"   
  
"You didn't like it. I liked it, but it was awkward and I'm pretty sure I hurt you, but you'd never admit that and you kept telling me you were fine when I asked."   
  
"Are you really blaming me for this?"   
  
"No." James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking much more stressed than he usually did when he ruffled his hair. "It's just... we both heard that sex was some great thing, so we did it. And when we did it we found out that it's not what everyone said, but couples don't have sex once and then move on from it because they didn't like it. They break up, and I don't want to break up. I'm just so confused, and I don't know what to do, and I don't think you know either."   
  
"Well right now I think we should forget all about this and go to class and deal with it after dinner." Not that Sirius knew how he was supposed to make it through his classes in extreme discomfort, but he'd work something out.   
  
"Fine." 

* * *

"Okay," Sirius said, sitting next to James in the Great Hall for dinner, "I did some research, you want to know what I found?"   
  
"You seem a lot happier than you did this morning, so yes. It seems promising."   
  
"It is! In a disheartening sort of way." James frowned and Sirius rushed to reassure him. "No, no not like that. You'll understand just give me a minute. So. What do you think was our biggest problem last night?"   
  
"We didn't have any buggering clue what we were doing?"   
  
"Well, yes if you want to be all straight forward about it."   
  
James rolled his eyes. "Then what is it?"   
  
"No you're right, I just- I dunno, wanted to mess with you a bit. Sorry, sorry, getting to the point. We didn't know what we were doing, but instead of trying to figure it out together, we just went with what we assumed it was supposed to be. You said you liked it but," Sirius made a face, "I think all you meant it that you liked how you felt inside me. Which is nice, but it's not the whole point of sex apparently."   
  
"Apparently?"   
  
"It's part of that whole 'enjoy the journey' thing. We were so focused on getting it done that we ignored everything else. I mean, Merlin James, we barely kissed. We love kissing, and somehow we forgot all about it."   
  
"Oh. I see what you mean."   
  
Sirius nodded. "Us not knowing what we were doing was definitely an issue, but we also rushed through everything. I think we should do... more prep next time. I said I was ready cause I thought we'd spent enough time on it, but I was wrong. And no offense James, but I have no intention of doing that again if we don't get a hell of a lot better."   
  
James chuckled. "That's fair."   
  
"Glad you think so. Also, as much as I'd like for us to get it right as soon as possible, I'm too sore right now to even think about fooling around."   
  
"No objections here."   
  
"Careful, James," he said drily, "don't shower me in too much love, it might go to my head."   
  
James put an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek.   
  
"You've already got a big head. A little attention from James isn't going to affect that," Peter said.   
  
Both of them startled. "How long have you been there?" James asked.   
  
"Too long," Remus answered. "Don't worry though, we were paying as little attention as we possibly could.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [@siriuslystarbucks](http://siriuslystarbucks.tumblr.com/)


End file.
